Should I let him borrow money?
My brother called me and asked me to borrow money because the got a no pay due (he is in the military) He was getting overpaid and never said anything about it so the military took their money back. Now he wants me to help him out. The thing is that he is single and just blows all his money and doesnt save at all. As for me I am married with 3 kids and I have bills that I have to pay soon but my husband and I also save money every month. We have helped him out before, he was living with us (before the military) didnt get a job or anything. We payed all the bills food etc. My husband wants to help him but I believe in tough love, do you think I am wrong to do that he says he has bills to pay ok we do too. I am not heartless if he was responsible with is money then I think I would feel different about it but he does get paid pretty good and he actually get a living allowance too and just blows it all. what do you think I should do? I do not want him to get used to us helping him
Public Comments
- This is what kinship is all about. Half of your heart is angry with him for not helping when he was at your place and half of your heart cannot bear to see your own brother suffer. Maybe you do a simple calculation like how much money he need a day and give it to him weekly till the following month.
- I had to tough love my daughter who is 25 This made her budget better and be responsible for herself He can go to a finacial class and they can help him get it together
- I would say no. You have done enough for him and its time he got his own crap together. What does he need the money for? Clothing, food, rent? Oh, I forgot, he's in the military - I think they cover all that. I might consider giving him a little bit of money, not much, but I would not do it again. Otherwise, he is just going to stay dependant on you - and you've got 3 kids of your own to worry about, why make it 4?
- If you want to help him out, you should tell him that you see how his spending habits are poor and that you will only help him out this one last time and he needs to get it together. Instead of giving him cash, why not get either a gift card for a certain store, or directly pay for whatever bill he is most urgently in need of paying that he says he needs money for.
- Tough love sister, you've helped him out enough. If you keep bailing him out you will be sending him the message that he can leach off of you forever. Your husband needs to back you up on this. Your brother needs to smarten up and learn some responsibility just the way you are trying to deal with yours. You already have three kids to take care of, you don't need another one added on. It's not your fault that he got in over his head with the military. It's his own fault too for squandering his money. So cut him off pronto and don't feel the least bit guilty about it either.
- being retired military ,i can tell you that they will not take all of his paycheck at one time. but they may take up to half of it. so no don't help him, he needs to learn to handle his money.the military will make sure he get three hot meals and a cot.
- I think he's a bum. He's going to suck off of you as long as you let him. Force him to grow up and be a man. Don't give him another cent. Best Wishes .
- he can have them take out so much of each check until its payed back.he put himself there and needs to figure it out himself.
