Retirement Oz - Why am I thinking about this man all of the time?!!?

Why am I thinking about this man all of the time?!!?

In my career , I see 2-12 clients per day.The nature of my business allows me to see the persons positive sides, and it is always rewarding. I am not attracted to any of them, but 1. He is good-looking, wealthy, retired (at 45), in great shape, a diligent worker and MARRIED. I am MARRIED. To a man who is just 3 years older than me (I am 28), a GREAT man, no less...we have been married for 5 years, are about to begin having children...I am madly in love with him. I do not flirt with him, but am definately in contact with him (mostly through work-related texting) more than my other clients. I help him out A LOT. And I see him 3 times a week for an hour. I might be flattering myself, but his wife is older than him, not attractive, and kind of stand-offish. I am a young, athletic, fitness model-unless he is a stand-up guy, if he sees an opportunity, he may jump. I am scared - I dont want to ruin my life. We have to have a work relationship. And even kissing is cheating to me. Help!

Public Comments

because you like him
if you cheat on wit him then wat about his wife ,your husband ...think about it it'll just be an affair
You need to seriously get your head out of your butt!! You already know wht you need to just because you have to work with him doesnt mean you have to engage in anything else with him. Keep it simple if he trys to get complicated tell your hubby.
You just answered your own question: He is good-looking, wealthy, retired (at 45)
Just keep in mind that you are married and he is married..it just something new to you that is making you feel this way.. it will pass..just remember you are happy and you love your family that's all you need ..and try not to think about this man ..think of your husband you love so much..
Have you ever heard the phrase, " Don't Mix Pleasure With Business". Listen to it. You can't do it. Don't let temptation mess up your life. You losing to much. Your husband, future children, and your career, just for one man. It ain't worth it. My suggestion is to lose pleasure contact. Business is strictly business.
my dear, I beg you, please dont ruin your marriage. your feels are normal but what you do what those feels will determine your future. You dont want to destroy your marriage for another married man who is far older than you and has no intention of leaving his wife. try and keep your distance. he is not the only good looking man out there. you are beautiful woman so dont fall cheap. he is not worth it, you are worth more to a wonderful man. I beg you listen to your inner spirit and think of women who have ruined their lives because of one mistake. if something happens your husband will never trust you again.
you're thinking abuot him because we always want a littel bit of what we can't have. Maybe you have the kind of psychology in you, that you can't have everything that is so good in your life, without maybe feeling like you could lose it all. You sound like you are in touch with your goals and in control of your life. So where is the "bad girl" ? what is your outlet for her? Everybody needs to be a little naughty a little of a rebel. Maybe this guy is your outlet. I am CERTAIN that you could conquer him. But than what? Best advice -s move him to another advisor so you can separate from THAT temptation Fast. Then, find another non-conformist thing to do. Try Habitat for Humanity. Work your butt off for people you don't know and you'll never get paid for it. Studio art -- painting sculpture drawing photography - esp of live models can be very fulfilling because you can do anything you want, think and look and explore -- without losing it. good luck, bad girl!
with all that you said the only thing you can do is get control over your hormones. Keep it strictly business. If you value your marriage and looking forward to your future you have to stop looking at him as this attractive, wealthy, great shape man. View him as a client only.
First. Deep breath. And then another. You're normal. You're normal and you have a crush. Married people are in committed relationships, but they're not dead. You're normal and you have a crush and your crush might be attracted to you. Another deep breath. It ends there. You're allowed to get sweaty palms over someone who is not your husband. You're allowed to work with attractive, successful people. You'll learn a heck of a lot from attractive, successful people, so don't run away, scared over your own hormones. At 45, he's been doing it for years and years and years. Guessing that you're a personal trainer. I don't understand the need to text him. I've had several, but never had their mobile numbers. His wife? 40 something and standoffish toward a 28 yo fitness model? It isn't like you two have a lot in common, you're attracted to her husband (yes, we can usually tell), but until there's something that needs to be nipped in the bud, she's not interfering. She's as negatively judgemental of you as you are of her. Being the competitive person you are, you're just sizing up the competition, sorting out her weaknesses even though you don't intend on entering the contest. It's best that you stop seeing her that way, or else it will be your brain's justification for this person to stray. You, on the other hand, can go ahead and enjoy the work based interaction, cut out the texting...especially if you're the initiator, and fantasize all you like when you're making love to your husband. (Just don't scream out his name ;-) )
the temptation is far to great, break it off give him to someone else, but dont do it.
I agree!!! Even a kiss is cheating. Even the thought of considering a relationship with someone outside your marriage is cheating in my book. Because in doing so, you are already laying the path for destruction of your present relationship. Beauty is only skin deep. But faithfulness and loyalty to ones mate are so important. Self control and keeping things in proper perspective will not only help you save your marriage. But it will further help you to keep a good working relationship with someone who you may have to work with and deal with from time to time for many years to come.