When does a parents responsibility end with their adult children?

7 adult children and we're retired and are not wealthy. There is always a financial need. One child, not in need, says we had the children and our responsibility never ends. What do you think?

Public Comments

1. Never
2. just the one in need the others 18 they're asses would be outta there
3. You have no responsibility. You have done your part enjoy your retirement. My parents cut us off a long time ago but we still love them the same and it made us strong independent adults If I have a problem I solve it I don't expect my parents too. Good luck.
4. I don't think your wife and you should suffer because of your children. they need to learn you will not always be able to bail them out .That is how they will gain there own responsibility they will not like it at first but later they will appreciated
5. When they are of legal age to move out and care for themselves, you are not obligated to be financially responsbile for them...you will always be their parents, but you do not have to be their bank unless you choose to be. If they have a financial need, they can figure out how to solve it...perhaps work additional jobs, perhaps sell something, perhaps live more conservatively, etc. Their "financial needs" aren't your problem...you dealt with your own financial needs throughout your adult life and need to make sure you have enough to last you the rest of your life. Tough love...let 'em know you love them, but the bank is closed and they need to start being responsbile for themselves. Always bailing them out doesn't teach them anything...and who will do it after you are gone?
6. I think your children need to go out and find them a job and start helping you because as soon as they become adult and have gone to school, Well thta's in their hands then. You have helped them enough now it's time for them to go out on their own and try to help you'll now. Most kids today don't want to leave home and don't want to work. But you need to be strict and tell them it's time for them to fly the cope. Or if they want to stay at home either help pay for bills or charge them rent and if they don't pay kick them out. They should be ashamed of themselves taking advantage of their parents like that.
7. True and I'm a daughter
8. Your responsibility ends when they legally become adults. Before that time you will have been preparing them to become responsible adults who are able to look after themselves. It is up to them to sort out their problems; it is no longer your problem. You will be doing them a favor by letting them sort out their own problems.
9. I have 2 adult children. I face the same problem. My husband and I have started weening them. The responsibility (financial) does have to end. We decided that we are not doing them any favors by aiding to their unresponsible attitudes. So far it is working. If you feel the need to help make sure they follow all other routes first. The only way they get help now is if we can pay a bill directly, like car insurance. I never hand over cash. I won't pay rent anymore either. We have gotten it down to under $200 a month for both. We set goals, like by July we will be down to $0. We are not wealthy and we live paycheck to paycheck. I think the best thing you can do for them is make them take care of themselves. Good Luck! Wish me some too!
10. Financially it could be whenever you want but supporting them in other ways like talking and giving advice should never end as long as they ask. My mom and dad still help me when I need it but I am responsible and sometimes things just come up you don't expect, so they generally don't have a problem helping me. My mom and I talk all the time and it goes both ways, I support her too when she needs my help so it depends on the relationship you have with your child and the type of support you are talking about. If your child feels like you owe them then there are two sides to this. Yes as a parent it is your job to help your child, but in my opinion it is only if they are responsible. If they are not doing things they should be like overspending or spending on things that are not "good" then they should not expect help. I am in my late 20's and have 3 kids but I work, go to school and take care of my kids by myself and that is part of the reason why my parents don't mind helping me out. Your responsibility ends really when you want it to and decide you can tell your children NO!
11. Your children are grown up, make then take responsibility for them selves. I am an adult and I have problems from time to time. I can only rely on my self. My mother is dead and my father is a homeless bum. I have no one I can ask for money when I get myself into a situation. Maybe you should ask them what they would do if you were not there and try that.
12. It never ends. Bieng a parent is a full time, 24/7 commitment. If you don't think you can handle it, don't have children
13. If you cant help financially then just be there for your children your responsibility's never end when you have had children they are there for life if you cant cope don't have them