I am working overseas for the first time, and my supervisor from North America told me I am socially inept.?

I have been working overseas for four months, and after a meeting with coworkers and my supervisor tonight, my supervisor took me aside and me that he and my coworkers had noticed I tend to be socially inept. Unlike the others, I do not get drunk on weekends, and do not participate in casual sex/relationships. I am guilty, however, of speaking my mind and wearing my heart on my sleeve. I grew up in a very small town without cable TV; I lived a sheltered life. Does this mean I am socially inept? I will be living and working (housing is provided in my contract) with these people until June, so how can I resolve this, or become less socially inept without conforming to their ways? I am living in China, however, part of my contract is to teach about Canadian culture. I am teaching English here. I know drinking alcohol at meals is a BIG deal, but I have chosen to abstain completely from alcohol, and I know that has NOT impressed some Chinese people! I've realized that my circle of friends is going to be much different from my colleagues group of friends and my social life is going to be much different. Also, with the exception of one of them, I am the only one who has not previously lived overseas, so in that regard, I have a lot to learn.

Public Comments

1. You don't need to get drunk to socialise with people.
2. Inept is pretty harsh. You just aren't the same social background as the group dynamic you are curretnly involved with. Bend a little. Going oout doens't mean getting drunk; relationships don't have to be about casual sex all the time.
3. You do not have to please everyone to do a good job.. Just tell them that their social life does not suit you and that you will do your best at work but will not participate in after work activities.
4. sounds like its true. just because you dont drink and have fun in that way, doesnt mean you cant at least socialize and make friends. people will respect your decisions to not drink and carry on, as long as your respect their rights to do those thing. and also wearing your heart on your sleeve is NEVER an accepted thing to do in a work environment.
5. You don't have to get drunk or sleep with the boss to hang out with the gang and have some fun. Get out a bit more and do some cool stuff on your days off.
6. Tell your super that you don't judge others for the choices they make and it would be cool if he/she didn't judge you either and you can always put your hand up some time to be the designated driver... that will win the winos over!
7. I would ignore them. If you do not want to get drunk or have casual sex then you do not have to. It would also help if you could say which country you are in because I think this affects the type of answer we should give. Their behaviour also reflects badly on the company and perhaps you could drop a hint to the supervisor that you are prepared to go over his head if they give you any more problems about this. Warning : it is never a good idea to wear your heart on your sleeve anywhere in this world.
8. Don't start drinking socially just to please this guy. And sexuality should never be an issue in the workplace - I am not sure why you bring it up. Your heart should not be on your sleeve at work. If it is on weekends, then just don't talk about it at work. Keeping your social and work life separate are a key to this. I don't know what you are speaking your mind about, but usually that is an issue. Don't be in a hurry to speak, to say something. Try listening more, and when you have something to say, try asking a question first. "How do you think your solution could address this concern?" rather than "your solution is wrong because it does not address this concern". Also, "socially inept" is a very vague thing to say. Respectfully ask your supervisor what exactly he means, and what skills you need to learn to address this IN THE WORKPLACE. You also don't say where you are living. You might research the society in which you are living. Maybe you are missing some important practices from there culture.
9. My advice, seems like the type of place if you ain't one of the crowd, you are not going to be one of the crowd (may not get promote or work there). You are no socially inept, just not fitting their idea of being "social". If you are not into that, good for you. Money is better spent else where (like rent.) then bar hopping. Is the company from the same culture you are, or from the host country. Some cultures are very centered on co-workers getting together and drinking. Say you are allergic to alcohol, or if you do go, see if they serve O' Douls and bring a camera. That way, you will be sober, they will be drunk and you get some evidence of what they did last night and if they figure this out, they are not going to want you to come along ever again.
10. He just wants to get into your pants, period. He's disguising it with the disclaimer; "and your coworkers think..." Tell him that he's borderline harassing. He would leave you alone.
11. Be assertive and polite in your attitude, be yourself don't change. The arrogant supervisor is socially inept as he needs the alcohol to socialise. Good luck to you
12. Myself, I love other cultures and the way people live thier lives and I try not to be critical of thier lifestyle. When I visit other countries or come into contact with people of a different culture in my own country. I like to dive into thier culture for the expierience. But, I prefer to stay in the shallow end.
13. I suspect he means not that you don't know how to socialize, but that you don't know how to act around the Chinese people and possibly if he's using such strong language, he may feel that it is affecting your ability to teach or to relate outside of work. I think you should probably ask him, politely (don't put him on the defensive), if he could explain what he thinks the problem is. You don't have to sacrifice your principles but part of living in other cultures is to experience the local way of life. Maybe if you have Chinese friends you could also talk about this with them.