How can I convince my husband to stop making "post" child support/college payments to his ex wife?
***Please read all details~~very important*** My husband's retired army, 21 yrs, and was married while in the service, to his ex, for a little over ten of those served years. She met someone else and left him. She waived her ex-spousal rights to his reirement and it's indicated in the divorce decree. This was a trade-off as my husband stood to inherit half of her father's assets. It's also important to note that they have three kids and off of his E5 salary, paid 1200/mo. The third child just turned 18 this Feb and my husband is continuing to send the same amount of $350/mo for all four years of college as he's done with the other two.***FFD to the present*** His ex calls him the other day telling him that she called DFAS to set up direct deposit for this purpose. However, during this process the system somehow managed to kick in twice the amount, making it $700, rather than the original $350, ***Continue with story in ADDITIONS segment below*** set to be withdrawn from his retirement account beginning Apr 1st. She conveyed, according to my husband, that all she needed was his SSN, name and account number for this process to take place. It's anyone's guess why the system kicked the amount to double. I am curious to know how she did this without going through a lengthier process? All she needed to do was speak to a clerk and the amount was changed without my husband being aware. I thought that the retiree and only the retiree had access and needs a password for this, never mind having the process take more time than just a few clicks from a computer key board. I am also curious to find out why she has authority over their 18-yr-old's funds when child support was definite at ending on his 18th birthday? Shouldn't HE be getting the funds, himself? After all, Momma lives with her BF in another state while the 18-yr-old lives with ex-hubby #2. What's wrong with this picture? I need an explanation from a professional. Charity~~That "trade-off" struck me as a bit bizarre, as well. At any rate, she's waived all of her rights to his retirement~~indicated on the divorce decree. ***Please, read the details portion*** Justagrandma~~I think the bottom line is that a portion of my husband's retirement is going to a spend-thrift who's lied and cheated for years> She makes 120K, my husband makes only 10K (he bartends). She has control for the next four years. Shouldn't those funds go directly to the 18yr old? Other than that, I am proud of my husband for living up to his responsibilities as a father. He always has. Thanks. Justagrandma~~From what I understand, the ex-spouse and current haven't ANY rights to the retiree's retirement account. Setting up direct deposit is not the issue and I was speaking of her account #, not his, although she could've had his account #. She opened my husband's lawyer's mail in his office during their divorce process, so, I don't put anything past her. Thanks, again. Charity~~I am not sure if the same clause applies to military retirement benefits. My husband's not the approachable kind to ask, either. I need to know what to do on MY END to alleviate any discomfort of his ex-wife receiving a portion of his retirement for the next four years when she's not legally entitled to it. My husband doesn't financially support me, I support myself, but she gets his money? There's something wrong with this picture.
Public Comments
- It doesn't add up . . . unless his father-in-laws estate had a specific clause . . . your husband is not legally entitled to anything contained in the estate and therefore can not "trade" it in a divorce settlement. It sounds like a mistake . . . have your husband send a copy of the court order with the correct amount . . . it really sounds like a screw-up more than anything else.
- If your question is about the incorrect amount of the child support, you can clear that up with a phone call and a fax. Once you are divorced, you aren't entitled to half your exwifes inheritance, you are no longer in line for the money unless his exwifes father wrote a will and never changed it naming your husband as the heir. A very unlikely possibility. Correct the amount with the proper office. Don't eat yourself up over the rest of it, men hate to be reminded of mistakes they've made and whatever happened in the past is over. In four more years, if the child stays in school, it will all be over for good. Its to your husbands credit that hes been so faithful to his responsibilities. But there is no point being a fool, get a lawyer, she shouldn't ever EVER have his information SS# bank account, etc. You contact that DFAS and find out whats going on and you make the arrangements for direct deposit, don't let her get that info, and if she already has it take your money out and get a new account # pronto, she could cause you some serious problems with that kind of personal informantion.
- Your ramble is incomprehensible. You are a disgruntled wife who resents your husband taking care of his children. Here's the deal. In most states, a father is required to pay child support until the child is 18 or until that child graduates from college. Usually, the child is expected to go full-time, make passing grades and finish before age 25. Until then, the father must support him. As for sending payments directly to the kid; as long as the kid is living at home and going to school, he is still being supported by the at-home parent. He still needs a roof over his head, food on the table, utilities, etc. Why don't you simply "butt out". It's none of your business anyway. These matters are between the FATHER and MOTHER of the children. You are neither one and have no legal interest in the situation at all.
- A child is a child, no matter how old is or she is. As long he is not working to support himself, he must keep supporting his child
