What is needed overseas for troops and what is good for wives back home?

My cousin just left to go overseas and at this time he doesn't know what he needs or what would be good. He said on the days off he is a little bored. What are some good ideas to send over to him? Also, his wife is at home with their 3 kids. I am too far away to help with the kids, but for other military wives, what did you appreciate from others while your husbands were or are overseas? I would like to help them out as much as possible but neither of them will say what they need or want. Thanks!

Public Comments

1. Keep in touch with both of them, by phone with the wife and by mail/phone(if possible) with your cousin. Sometimes just listening is a big support. In time, they'll learn what they need, and by staying in touch, so will you.
2. Keep spending on shoes American women while the U.S. is busy invading and occupying other countries. It is no wonder that most people around the world don't feel any sympathy for Americans because most of you worry about shallow things like shoes, clothes and massive amounts of food. It is really interesting that while women in the U.S. are busy getting their fake tans, bleaching their hair blond or lying on the beach in their bikinis, innocent people in Iraq and Afghanistan are dying. Americans have so many of their own problems. How about fixing them before invading and occupying another foreign countries. And please do not wash your guilt by donating to charities when innocent children and people are dying under the U.S. flag. Continue the good work in the name of democracy (a.k.a hypocrisy). Who cares about the troops...most don't in the U.S. Supporting the troops is nonsense.
3. When my brother was out there I sent him his favorite snacks (non-perishable and non-melting...slim jims, hard candies, etc.). I also sent fun things to help him pass the time (crossword puzzles, nerf footballs, etc.). A really nice idea would be to send an mp3 player (and lots of batteries!) that has some of his favorite music loaded on. As a sister, I always appreciated kind words from others. I'm sure his wife would love to see cards in the mail for her and the kids. Let her know you care and that you'll help whenever you can, even if it is just to chat on the phone. Thank your cousin for me, by the way. I wish him luck!
4. I bought my husband a new mp3 player to take to Iraq with him... some of my other friends have asked for CDs, so they can load them on their MP3 players, CD books to hold CDs, PSP and DS games.. usually in a unit someone will have a PS3 or an xbox or something to kill sometime. Books, magazines, local papers.. no porn or anything inappropriate for the country. Puzzle books, calling cards.. some of my friends have asked for flash drives to hold pictures from their digital cameras. As for staying home, if you're not close enough to babysit for her.. how about a gift card to Bath and Bodyworks, Victoria's Secret.. or somewhere else she might like to shop, but doesn't get a chance to much. Bubble baths are great when my husband's gone and the kids are cooperating!! My mom has called the local pizza place and had pizza delivered to my house a couple times. She's sent us some gift cards for places she knows the kids like to eat at.. She probably doesn't really "need" much, so any thought will go a long way. We like to be remembered when our husbands are gone!!
5. Well I am talking from a male point of view who served in the Army and the Navy,and was deployed on board and aircraft carrier attached to a squadron gone six to nine months at a time and married with a eight month old son at the time who is now 28. And what I missed the most was my wife and child so that was hard for me to answer to my wife as well because what you want is really home all the things in the world you send a deployed service member will not take the place of home trust me on that one I am telling you from personal experience as for my wife I know she had the companion ship of the other ships wives that helped her alot from being lonely and her immediate family coming to spend time with her and our young son at the time while I was deployed I hope this helps you out a little.
6. Call the wife often. Not sure how close you two are, but I would not go more than 2 to 3 weeks without calling her. If you are closer though, call at least weekly. There may be times where she doesn't want to say anything but just want someone on the other end of the line. Just listen to the silence with her. Or if she doesn't want to be on the phone at all, trust me, knowing you cared enough to call means a lot to her and she appreiates the call anyway. There may be times too that she calls you, sometimes daily, not really saying anything new, just be patient, these types of phones calls don't continue the whole deployment. Ask your family not to go visit your cousin the week before he leaves or the week after he gets back. There is a lot of stress during these times and they and their kids need this time alone. If she tells you they fought a lot before he left and she's not understanding what is going on in their marriage, tell her it is normal pre deployment stress. It's happened to everyone I know.
7. I have no family or friends that are over seas but I am the local stylist in a small town so I hear and I ask. It seems they all want things that are small and convenient. They would like beefy jerky and canned tuna anything that will hold up over the trip. I adopted a soldier and I was lucky that I wound up betting a female. Now I am a stylist remember what are the odds. She said to not forget that there are women over there and they need hair ties and bobby pins and anti-frizz stuff. I was fortunate enough to draw her as my soldier. After getting my supply places together they took up donations and I now have a few hundred pounds of womanly hair and beauty supplies. I ask my clients if they would like to sponsor a package for our troops to help offset the cost I use the priority mail flat rate boxes the cost $8.95 apiece to send. I include everything that I can think of from a letter hand written in every box to readers digests, bags of balloons( for the kids over there, I am sure that balloons must be a great novelty to them) to pictures that the kids draw in the salon to pictures from our town with captions on the back so they know what the are looking at. I think the most important thing you can send is reassurance and thanks and every little thing that will keep them grounded things that let them know we will be there for them when they come home. As for his wife call and be there send her letters and let her know you will try to help in anything she needs (only if you are going to) calls and letters are the things everyone needs in time such as these. Good luck and email me if there is anything I can help you with. Please tell your cousin and her wife this for me, "We sleep safewly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence upon those that would do us harm." George Orwell.
8. What he needs will largely depend on where he is and what the living conditions are like there. For her, a great idea would be to arrange for someone to take care of her lawn or clean her house once in a while. Those are two things that are nearly impossible to do when you have no one to watch your kids (especially the yard). I also liked the idea that someone else mentioned of calling a local pizza place to deliver for her.