My husband is constantly asking me about money, Help!!!?
It seems that my husband is constantly obsessing about money. He never did before and suddenly in the past 3 weeks he is on a rampage. On a daily basis he makes comments like "don't spend any money today", and when he comes home from work he asks, "did you spend any money today". I am defending myself for going to the grocery store. We have 3 kids we have to go to the grocery store. We have been together for 14 years and he has never been this bad. If I have to spend money I feel horrible for doing so. I have tried talking to him and we always end up fighting about who's right. I understand we need to save money but, we also have a family we need to feed. I go to the grocery store about once a week, and I am tired of feeling like I need "daddy's" permission to go. How can I make him understand I am not wasting money???
Public Comments
- start feeding him pb & j every nite--he'll get the hint
- you need to ask why he has this all fo the sudden interest in the finances. is he gambling? lost his job or on the verge? supporting someone else? find out before he drives you crazy.
- Perhaps finances have gotten tighter. Are you over spending. Time to tighten up the belts. Don't fight with him on this, ask him to sit down with you and both of you make a budget. Then you can figure out ahead of time what money you have to buy groceries, etc.
- Since this is a recent event, I'm going to guess that your husband has somehow gotten you into big debt. (gambling? stock market? credit cards?) He's very worried he will go into more debt. You need to sit down and ask him "What's changed to make you so worried about spending money?" Listen carefully to his answers. Maybe you need a part-time job, if you don't have one. Maybe it's the bad economy that's worrying him or maybe he's losing his job (or already has lost it). TALK. Find out why he's suddenly gotten so worried. If he doesn't have good answers, maybe he needs a shrink. Don't let him bully you, though. That's abuse. Don't take it.
- My husband was doing that to me and finally I told him, he is to do all the shopping, paying bills, buying gas, and getting all the neccessities (INCLUDING TAMPONS AND DOUCHE). And he backed off and ended up telling me he was saving for a family vacation and that I needed to pinch as well. WE LEAVE ON FRIDAY FOR TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!
- If , after 14 years, you can't make him understand you (when you should know him better than anybody else), I'm not sure why you think you'll get any help here. I'm not trying to be mean, but let's face it. He's not being cooperative and you're the only hope for figuring out why. We have no idea who this person is or what he's been through, nor do we know your history. If you two were a young couple, the answers may come easier, but, 14 years? You're not telling us something.
- Do a little detective work and see what the motive is for his obsession. Then take his a** to the grocery store with you and show him that Sh** cost especially when you are feeding 3 kids. My husband tried that too I started sending him to the grocery store and when he arrived home he tells me damn the cost of food is expensive. DUH you a** that's what I've been saying all along.
- Nay, you need to sit down with him and have a rational discussion about money. Do you have a family budget? Has anything changed recently? Why is your husband suddenly obsessing about money? Make your comments low-key and not confrontational. Regards, Dan
- First of all there are two sides to every story and it sounds like your spending money on a daily basis. If you go to the grocery store only once a week then why does he have to ask you if you have spent money each day?
- For starters, maybe there's something going on that you're not aware of. Maybe he's afraid he's about to lose his job? Men can be real weird about things like that, instead of talking about it they just panick. Until you find out why he's being this way all of the sudden, I agree with one of the other answers. Have pb&j for supper, buy the cheapest of everything, especially things that you know he wants the name brands of, and see what happens. My ex-husband put me on a grocery allowance, $250 a month for 4 ppl, yet he wanted name brand sodas, chips, papertowels, etc. It was impossible. I started making hamburger helper everynight and buying the cheap crap. Of course he still griped about how much I spent, PLUS griped about what I bought and what I cooked and called me the Hamburger Helper Queen. Of course, notice how I said ex-husband? :) Hope things work out for you.
